The boys have hit the three month mark. Can you believe it? It seems like just yesterday I was getting ready for my C Section..scared at having to deliver them at 34 weeks..watching them in their isolette’s..crying because I couldn’t bring them home with me..feeling joy when Micah came home..heartbroken when Josiah possibly had Hirschsprung disease and was transferred to a hospital out of state…devastated when Micah caught RSV..and elated when both boys were home together and healthy..our current state. YAY! We have been through so much in the past three months. We had a pretty traumatic start. I did not *truly* get to enjoy them the way I always wanted to until September..and they were born at the end of July. But here we are. My heart could not be any more full!! I’ve shared how hard being a mom is, how much I love it..all that awesome sauce.
At three months, I feel like I just may possibly be getting the “hang” of this thing called motherhood. I am no longer terrified of being home alone with the boys, nor do I feel extreme anxiety. I just do what I have to do because that’s what mother’s do! We plow ahead and simply make it work. Does this mean it’s always easy. HECK NO. But I do what I have to do for my boys!
For the past couple of weeks I have been trying to rely on others less. I wanted to be more independent because people will not always be around to help me, I have to do this thing! So I gave my mom and mother-in-law a break..even though they didn’t ask for it. It can be really rough, but I’ve learned a few tricks to help me get through. Also, with having the boys on more of a routine..I’m really only on my own until about 9 pm and then they’re out and I have some time to myself until my husband gets home (10:30 pm on the days he has to close). I even went to a doctor’s appointment alone! May not sound like a big deal but for me it was a very big deal. I had to send my mother-in-law home because she came over with symptoms of a cold (um..hello..really? After what we went through with Micah?) She insisted that she felt “fine” but I told her it didn’t matter, our doctor’s were clear..if someone is exhibiting symptoms of the cold or flu, they shouldn’t be around the babies until they get better. She understood and didn’t give me a hard time. Still, talk about a-w-k-w-a-r-d.
On another note…we have also been venturing out of the house more – thank God. We have both been going nuts being cooped up in our house all the time and we haven’t felt normal whatsoever. We haven’t done anything “extreme” but we did go to church and visit our Pastor’s. We’ve been really careful. As a Christian, I don’t want to live in constant fear anymore. I just want to throw all of my trust on God and just use wisdom. I’m still trying to get he Synagis shots for my boys..I will hear in a couple of days. I really hope they get approved, it will help to put me a bit more at ease.
Anyway, when we went to church we were like celebrities. We sat in the back and