So Micah’s been dealing with a bad cold for the past few days. Started off as a cough and a typical cold, then wheezing started to develop along with retractions. Since he had such a bad experience with RSV when he was three weeks old, when I called the doctor, they wanted me to bring him in to the ER. I kind of knew that would happen so I wasn’t surprised..but not happy to have to go without my husband.
Ever since Micah’s traumatic experience (which you can read about here), the mere though of the hospital makes me break out into a cold sweat and my skin starts to crawl..or I feel like I’m going to have a panic attack, or hyperventilate..or even faint. I have to say God gave me so much strength today. I took Micah to the ER on my own, all of his baby equipment, maintained a positive attitude and everything. Go me!
Of course I immediately broke down when the first doctor (a resident) came in and told me that he would possibly be transferred to an out of state children’s hospital (the same one he was transferred to when he had RSV) because of his “previous history” and such. My response to her, “Are you kidding me?” No, like really lady..are you kidding? I reminded her that when he had that severe case of RSV he was THREE WEEKS OLD. THREE WEEKS OLD. This time he is five months old, has had colds in the past, has been on Synagis. I know that Synagis doesn’t mean your baby won’t get RSV, but it should help to lessen the severity of it. And the fact that her first thought was, let’s transfer him far away just to be safe..even though he doesn’t have a fever, is eating well, is being a happy little clam…and she didn’t even do the RSV test yet!! REALLY?! Not very sensitive of her. I know her intentions were good, but still. As soon as she said that, I broke down and just cried. I felt it all coming back. The separation of me from my husband and Josiah. How I pretty much lived in another state, by myself, for two weeks…dealt with watching my son fight for every breath and for his life…by myself. Wondered if he was going to make it…and wishing I could trade places with him. It was the scariest experience and most traumatic thing I’ve ever gone through. So she left…another doctor came, one that I liked more. Told me two good things – Micah tested negative for flu and RSV. However, on the flip side, his chest x-ray showed a possible pneumonia? The doctor and radiologist kind of disagreed on it. One thinks it’s there, the other not so much..but they’re going to treat him anyway. So little Micah Berry is in the hospital yet again. My little baby.
“Dad, why is there a diaper on my hand?”
They put a diaper on there so that he won’t rip out his IV…guess what? He did it anyway. Strong guy. Known for ripping out his IV’s. My hope is that everything will clear up and he will be home by the weekend. Pray with us my fellow bloggers, pray that Micah will heal and be home with us..that Josiah will stay nice and healthy, and that as a family we will maintain our sanity. It’s really hard. My husband has to work in the midst of it all..which means our days are crazy. Today my mother-in-law watched Josiah from 8-4…then our best friends took over from 4-8..then I took over. Tomorrow I will watch him from until 2:30…pick up my husband, take him to work (the joys of sharing one car) and take over hospital duty until 10:30..pick up my husband…take him to the hospital..come back home..relieve my aunt..who will have relieved my mother-in-law. Crazy, crazy, crazy. I will keep you posted. BLAST YOU COLD AND FLU SEASON. BLAST YOU.