Marriage Mondays: Growing Together

Tonight I thought I would write about the importance of growing together as a couple. When people divorce, you often hear the phrase, “We grew apart.” How does that happen? I think it probably starts subtly. It likely creeps in and before you know it, you feel like you don’t recognize the person you’re married to. I strongly believe any good marriage takes work. When I look at couples I admire who have amazing longstanding relationships and are still in love, I hear the same thing! What you put into it, you’ll get out of it.

But back to my point, how do you fight against the whole growing apart? I think you learn to grow together! This is something my husband and I try to work on daily, weekly, and just make part of our relationship. We don’t always get it right but we constantly are evaluating what we can do to do better, be better, and love each other better.

Here’s the thing: there are so many times we fail! We snap at each other, attitudes get the best of us, we want to be right so pride kicks in, and the list goes on. I can probably write several books on our imperfections and shortcomings. But I want to be married to this man for forever because I love him. This means I will do everything I can to continue to strengthen and build our relationship.

What I’m sharing here is what we’ve done in the past and what we are currently doing. Please share what you and your spouse do, would love to hear it!

Ways You Can Grow Together: 

1. Pray together and keep a prayer journal together.


This is simple and if you think you don’t have the time, I promise you it’s not some long drawn out process. Also, there are times where we miss some nights. Give yourself grace, don’t be hard on yourself, and get back on the horse. Anyway, we sit down together and we come up with a list of things we want to pray about. Topics are sometimes broad but usually super specific. The more specific the better. We write these down and take turns praying for each one. This isn’t longer than ten minutes. I really like doing this because I feel like I get to hear about what’s on my husband’s heart, different parts of his day, and what he feels a particular burden for. Then I can share with him what’s on my heart and we can share that together and pray about it together. We’ve seen God do some amazing miracles in our lives in direct correlation to what we’ve prayed about together during our sessions.

2. Find hobbies or interests you enjoy together.


My husband and I are really similar but we’re also complete opposites in a lot of ways. The things I like and the things he likes to do vary on a really wide scale. In the past, I’ve focused more on just what I liked (because God is still working out the selfishness in me – don’t judge me y’all) but recognizing that marriage is about compromise. The things we enjoy doing together are reading a book together out loud and talking about what we’ve read, watching comedic shows, riding bikes, and singing/playing music together.

3. Take a genuine interest in each other’s life.

I live for pillow talk!

Ask questions! Don’t get so comfortable that you forget the wonder of each other and the wonder of marriage. Be interested and engaged in what’s happening in your spouse’s life. If you know me, you know I love to ask about 101 questions. Sometimes I drive Jose crazy because  I will ask about everything. He’s a realtor so when he gets home I’ll ask him about the houses he showed, the clients, his day, anything else, and it may drive him nuts sometimes but I am genuinely interested in what’s going on in his life! This is because I am highly interested in HIM! Never stop asking questions, never stop caring, don’t just ask mundane questions but be specific. Can you tell I’m all about the detail?

4. Challenge each other.

Challenge each other to be better and do better each day. ENCOURAGE. Push. Build one another up. Don’t do it in the form of nagging. It’s really easy to slip into the nagging mode, which I know pretty well! Ha! Don’t be afraid to call each other out on the carpet. My husband calls me out and I call him out. I don’t mean to publicly shame your spouse. I mean that when you’re on your own time, don’t be afraid to call them out/call them up to all who they are as needed.

5. Hold each other accountable.

Earlier this year I asked my husband to write down a list of his goals: specifically what he wanted to accomplish this year. I asked him to share those goals with me and then we talked about it. I shared my goals with him. Because we both have an idea of what we are aiming for individually and as a family, it’s easier to hold each other accountable. For example, I know of my husband’s goals is to cycle more. It’s a hobby of his and he enjoys it. Because I know this, when I see life getting hectic I’ll ask him if he’s cycled this week. If the answer is no, we’ll look for a way to pencil that in so he can do that. It may seem silly/simple but it was something on his goals list. One of my personal goal’s was to work more on a story that I’ve been writing. I enjoy writing. When there is down time, my husband will say, “Hey, how are you doing with your story?” or “Why don’t you take some of this time to write?” In this way, I feel like he’s holding me accountable to my goals. This kind of goes with #4 and it’s important that we don’t nag, but it’s nice to know that I have someone who will hold me accountable and push me forward.

6. Serve together.

This is probably the most important! Grow together by thinking outside of yourselves and thinking of others. So much of a healthy marriage is about living a life of selflessness.

“Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others, faithfully administering God’s grace in its various forms.”  1 Peter 4:10

For Jose and I, this looks like serving in ministry together! We both serve in our local church. We have always served in whatever church we have attended together because it’s important to us. Find a place or a way you can both serve together.

These are just a few things that we do that work for us and that, in my opinion, help us grow together. What are some things that you and your spouse do to grow together? Would love to hear your thoughts below! Thanks for

Marriage Mondays: Don’t Get Married for the Wrong Reasons

As you probably know about me at this point, I think marriage is awesome. You can check out past Marriage Monday posts and see that I find great value in marriage [to the right person]. That being said, so many people get married for the wrong reasons. They think that marriage is a magical fix-it band-aid that will make everything better.

Newsflash.

That is not what marriage is.

Marriage is a commitment to love someone until your dying day and demonstrate that love by standing by them through the ups and downs of life. Staying with them when you’re swimming in money. Staying with them when you don’t have two nickels to rub together. Being with someone during sickness, health, and everything in-between. Marriage is REAL y’all! It’s supposed to be for forever.

That being said, so many people get married for the wrong reasons. If you’re single, in a relationship, engaged, or whatever the case may be, check your heart and make sure you’re not about to get married for the wrong reason.

5 wrong reasons to get married to someone:

  1. You want a fancy wedding.

Maybe you’re reading that and scoffing at it. Yeah right, who would get married for a nice wedding?  We all know that girl who has been planning their wedding day since they could talk and walk. Some people even have Pinterest boards that have their whole dream wedding documented and they’re not in a relationship yet – I’m not throwing shade, I promise – but some people get so caught up in a beautiful wedding they forget that after the wedding there is an actual marriage to tend to. I think that if people put the effort, time, and energy into their marriages that they put into their actual wedding day, you would see an abundance of relationships thrive. The point I’m making is this: your wedding day is one single day. Your marriage is supposed to be the rest of your life. Invest!

2. Your boyfriend/girlfriend sucks, but if you marry them all of their suckiness will go away.

NOT TRUE! NOT TRUE! NOT TRUE! Can you tell I’m screaming this virtually from my use of caps? The number one mistake I see is that a person marries someone thinking that they can change them. IF YOU WON’T MARRY THEM EXACTLY AS THEY, ARE DON’T MARRY THEM. If they are a terrible person beforehand, don’t think that solely because you have put a ring on their finger they will suddenly be magical. Marriage doesn’t magically make a terrible person a better one. Don’t marry someone for this reason.

3. You hate being alone.

Marrying someone because you hate being alone is just not enough of a good reason to marry someone. Do you hate being alone? Join a book club. Find a church. Go to a paint party. Yes, companionship is wonderful and marriage is beautiful in that you have a friend and a partner to walk through life with. However, marrying someone on the basis of not being alone is just not enough. Know yourself. Spend time alone. Learn to be content independently. I firmly believe you’ll be a better spouse!

4. It’s part of your 5 year, 10 year, ___ year life plan.

Perhaps you are one of those life planner people. For example, it goes like this: By 25 I want to be in a serious committed relationship on the way to engagement. By 26, I want to be engaged. By 27,  I want to be married. By 28 I want to have my first kid because I CAN’T HAVE KIDS IN MY 30S OMG WHAT WILL HAPPEN IF I HAVE A CHILD IN MY 30S.  Calm down. There’s nothing wrong with having a plan! But here’s what I’ve learned: life plans are funny. Most of the time we plan away and there are certain things you can’t control. Don’t settle for someone who isn’t the right person for you so you can check it off your life plan.  A lifetime is too long to be with someone just because it fell into your five-year plan.

5. you’re tired of dating. 

I once heard someone say, “This is the last relationship I plan on being in because I’m tired of dating and just want to get married.” They didn’t mention being in love, whether the person they were dating had the qualities they wanted or anything along those lines.  All I could think to myself was, “Well, that’s some love story to tell one day.” They just wanted to be done with what they felt like was the grueling process of dating. From what I can see from the outside looking in [people not wanting to be committed and living in more of a hook-up type of generation] I can only imagine how exhausting the whole dating process must be now.  Especially when so many people play games. However, it’s not a good reason to settle. Forever is too long. If you’re tired of dating, take a break from it for awhile. Don’t settle for some Joe Schmo who you don’t really care about. It’s a waste for you and that person and will cost you both in the end.

All of this to say, marriage is awesome and if you are going to get married to someone, don’t do it for the wrong reasons. Xo!

 

8 Years Married: 8 Lessons I’ve Learned

Jose and I are celebrating 8 years of marriage! I am kind of in awe of that. I’m not surprised that we’re still married, but I can’t believe it’s been 8 years already.


It feels like just yesterday I was floating down the aisle towards my high school sweetheart, a bundle of nerves in my stomach but so sure in my heart. Eight years later, I am still so sure and so in love. In a culture that minimizes the importance of marriage and practically scoffs at commitment, where divorce runs rampant and marriages apparently face some kind of ‘7-year itch’ I can shout from the rooftops that MARRIAGE IS BEAUTIFUL. I still love it!

8 Lessons I’ve learned in 8 years of marriage:

1. Teamwork really does make the dream work.

I think part of what has helped our relationship flourish so much is the fact that we are a team. We team up on pretty much every single thing in life. His dreams are my dreams. My goals are his goals. We do what we can to support one another. I found that this is especially critical when it comes to parenting. We have always parented and continue to parent as a team. There is nothing that is deemed something that only mom does or dad does [okay, except maybe wrestling but I’m just not a wrestler!] We support each other. If he’s had a busy day with clients and has been out all day, I know I may have to step up when it comes to cooking, cleaning, or getting school things together for the boys. If I’ve had a challenging day and his day is slow, it’s nothing for him to cook dinner, do laundry, and pick up the kids from school. He is always willing to help me and vice versa. This is so integral to any relationship, in my opinion.

2. You reap what you sow.

You have heard this a thousand times. Why is that? BECAUSE IT’S TRUE. You will get out of a marriage what you put into it. If you treat your marriage like a piece of garbage, that’s what your marriage will eventually become. If you don’t prioritize your relationship or each other, it will reflect, I can promise that. Something that’s big for us is quality time. We can live in the same household and be two ships passing in the night if we don’t prioritize spending time together and having conversation. Because this is essential for the both of us, we make sure we pour a lot of that into our relationship, even if it means turning down other engagements [sorry family and friends – I still love you!]. I always want to sow into my relationship so that we can see the benefits of that.

3. for better or for worse truly means for better or for worse.

Life isn’t a fairytale and sometimes crap hits the fan. Life gets SUPER REAL all of a sudden. For Jose and I, three years into our marriage we faced the challenge of infertility. When our boys were born, they faced quite a few medical issues. The first year of their lives was SO hard! After that, one of the boys had a medical diagnosis that presented more challenges. And the list goes on and on. The point I’m making is that for all of the mountaintops we had, we had a ton of valleys. Our vows were tested repeatedly. Don’t go into marriage with the false assumption that you will ride off into the sunset and it will always be a fairytale. Yet, know that when you hit the hard times, these challenges will be a catalyst for growth if you allow them to be.

4. There’s no room for selfishness.

Marriage for me was a reality check that the entire world didn’t revolve around me. Growing up as a middle child but the only girl out of two brothers meant that I was the apple of my family’s eyes, especially on my dad’s side. I usually got what I wanted. I scoffed at the idea of cooking and cleaning because it wasn’t “fun” and I “didn’t like it.” I stood firm all the way up to the wedding day that I wouldn’t cook or clean and I shouldn’t have to because it was a gender stereotype that I was supposed to. A whole lot of words to sum up me being selfishness. Guess what? When I got back from the honeymoon and realized my new husband and I had to eat food, I learned to cook pretty quickly.

5. The Words you speak to each other matter.

I wrote a post already about this one, so I won’t repeat myself too much except to say this: you can’t take back words. Words have the power to bring life to your spouse or to destroy their spirit. Choose wisely and recognize that many marriages are destroyed over words.

6. romance and intimacy are important.

Sometimes couples get really comfortable and start to think this doesn’t matter or start treating their spouse like more of a live-in roommate. Don’t fall into that trap! Go on dates. Get creative. Try new adventures together. Protect your marriage and recognize that a little romance goes a long way! If you haven’t read the 5 Love Languages, I recommend that for any married couple. Find out your spouse’s love language and start speaking it. For me, whenever Jose gives me a handwritten card my heart just melts into a giant sappy puddle on the floor. Written words from him always make me cry for some reason. He can get me an amazing gift, but the card and his note to me is what always gets to me! It’s the little things!

 

7. The Two C’s: Compromising and Communication

Being married to my husband has taught me a lot about compromise! We have completely opposite tastes in a lot of areas. We enjoy doing different things. We don’t like the same kinds of movies. We have varying tastes in music. BUT the fun part is compromising with each other and as a result, stepping out of our comfort zones and tastes to do what the other loves! Communication is an obvious one, but it’s essential! I’m not a mind reader and neither is my husband. We have to communicate our struggles, desires, dreams, the bad days, good days, and everything inbetween. Also, just to talk. Unplug. Put phones away and have solid conversation.

8. No marriage should be an island.

Support and community matter. For our relationship, the wisdom of people we respect and admire has strengthened us during the hard times of life. There’s something powerful about knowing that people have your back and that you have people you can trust and talk to. I especially love talking to people who have a marriage I admire, have been married a long time, and are filled with wisdom and experience! They’ve been there! They get it! Go find those people, talk to them, hang out with them.

In eight years, I can still say marriage is beautiful. It’s what you make it. We aren’t perfect people. Far from it! Yet I’m so happy I married this guy and am looking forward to spending the rest of my life with him. Here’s to growing old together.

  

7 Ways to Make Date Night Happen – No Excuses

Some of my favorite nights ever are the date nights that I have with my husband. As insane as life gets, whether the budget is fantastic or terrible, whether we “have the time” or not, Jose and I try to make it a priority to go on a date and have that time together without the kiddos. I wanted to share 7 ways to make date night happen regardless of your budget or busyness. For my husband and I, it’s really important!

Why?

Because before there were kids, there was US.

When the kids go to college, it will be US.

I’ve watched so many people have children and literally put their love lives completely on pause. Not for seconds or minutes or even days or weeks, but for YEARS. Then the kids go to college and there are two adults who barely know each other. I strongly believe that if mom and dad are happy and the marriage is healthy, the kiddos will feel the ripple effects of that. I know many who idolize their children to the point where their children consume every aspect of their lives above all things and anything else (even God). There is no room for anything or anyone else. Friendships dissolve and more. I don’t want to be that way! So I’ve decided I won’t.

I’ve faced judgment and even criticism sometimes, because God forbid if you are having fun without your kids, what kind of person even are you? Um, a human being who likes to have fun without her kids at times so she can pee in peace and have dinner without sharing.

Plus, it’ s SO FUN to continue to go on dates and do things together one on one. It keeps the romance alive and reminds me of our early years all over again. Stolen kisses, inside jokes, laughing together at something when we’re supposed to be serious. This is the stuff that my kind of love is made of!

How do you make this possible, especially if you have kids?

  1. Put it on the calendar. Once it’s on the calendar, it’s a priority! Make it one.

Put it in your calendar like you would put an actual appointment. Treat it like you would treat an appointment with a client – except your spouse is even more important! Time with your husband or wife is a worthy investment in your marriage and should be prioritized.2.

2. Have a group of reliable sitters at the ready.

Vary your sitters so you have options. We don’t like to put all of our eggs in one basket. That being said, we don’t just let anyone watch our boys. Typically it’s my mom, my mother-in-law and two reliable college age girls from church who work in the Sunday School program at our church. My boys love their sitters and are familiar with them. In the same way,

3. Don’t use your budget as an excuse.

It’s really easy to write off date night because it’s not in the budget. Trust me, been there before! However, date night can still be fun and free. There are a ton of resources and ideas available on Pinterest. Some of my favorite things to do:

  • Watch a movie: rent one through iTunes, watch for free on Netflix, TV. I have even borrowed movies from friends – talk about budget friendly!
  • During warm weather, lay a blanket in the backyard, put on the firepit: talk, listen to music, stargaze, ask silly questions.
  • Read together: call us dorks, we love to read books together. We pick out a book we both want to read and go through it chapter by chapter.
  • Game night: we don’t do this as often, but back in the day we would play board games and get really competitive. Scrabble and Bananagrams were favorites.
  • Park: Going to a park, walking the trails or riding bikes while having a conversation is relaxing and easy to do.
  • Free Events: Look up what’s free in your area and you would be surprised!

4. If you can’t go out, date night in.

I’ve already listed a few ideas/suggestions that have worked for us. Feel free to borrow one or suggest one in the comment section!

5. Swap babysitting services with another couple for date nights.

We are in a bracket where a lot of our friends have babies/toddlers the same age. This is something we haven’t done but would be willing to do! I think it’s a pretty easy way to score a date night and to add a couple to your babysitting catalog.

6. Push guilt aside.

I know a lot of parents suffer from this! I think mom’s especially feel this type of guilt. Parents who feel awful for doing something without their children. I am NOT that parent, but if you happen to be, then realize this: it’s okay to have a night of fun without your kiddos. It doesn’t make you a bad person. A relaxed, happy, set of parents are better parents for their children.

7. Make FUN the priority.

Don’t get worked up over what doesn’t go right: keep in mind the primary goal of date night with your spouse is to have fun and enjoy each other’s company. I remember the days of dating during high school and the college years. I could literally be sitting next to Jose doing nothing, but the fact that we were together was just so NICE. As adults, life has only gotten more hectic as each year passes. It’s a beautiful thing to have fun and be reminded of where it all began.

My husband planned this one. After an obsession with Heartland, he took me horseback riding because I fell in love with horses.

Sunday afternoon date.

This date night we planned in advance. We bought concert tickets as our Christmas gift in December but the actual concert wasn’t until April 1st.

Couples date night out. This was something planned about a month in advance which gave us an opportunity to plan a sitter and budget accordingly.

A day at the beach is fun, cheap, and my favorite!

Even though the pictures you see are pictures of us actually going out – there are plenty of times we stay in! I guess I just don’t take too many pictures of those times! Ha!

These are some of my suggestions but I would love to hear some of yours! What do you and your spouse do for date nights? How often do you try to make date nights happen? Comment below!

 

 

 

Marriage Mondays – If You Don’t Have Anything Nice to Say…

You’ve heard the saying before:

If you don’t have anything nice to say….don’t say it all!

I don’t know about you, but I KNOW what my weakness is. I’ve always known it, even at a young age. It’s my tongue. My mouth. The words I speak.

When I was in middle school, I once got out of a situation where a girl wanted to fight me. She was taller than me, bigger than me, and would undoubtedly beat the tar out of me EXCEPT, I had a secret weapon. My mouth. So I hurled insults her way (not something I’m proud of as an adult!) and when it was time to “fight” she was nowhere to be found because I embarrassed her. I don’t say this as something to be proud of, but to emphasize the fact, that even at a young age I knew I could use words to hurt people.

As an adult, the more I learned about words and the power of the words we speak, the more I realized the words I spoke had weight, power, and could affect a situation or a person positively or negatively.

Now picture a girl whose weakness is her mouth in a relationship with a person who is hot headed and is also known for his mouth. Guys, it wasn’t a good combination. Jose and I spent the first few years of our relationship arguing a lot and using our words to hurt each other. The thing with the words you speak is that once you say them you can’t take them back and hurtful words are so painful and wound so deeply. If I asked you right now to tell me something someone said that hurt you, you could distinctly give me a specific incident and person. We remember these things.

This is why I want to tell you something I’ve had to learn myself in marriage.

When I don’t have anything to say that’s going to produce fruit in my marriage, sometimes the best thing to do is to BE QUIET.

As in literally, zip it and not say anything at all.

Here’s the thing – I know there are times where you will have to have difficult conversations within a marriage. This is a reality that’s inescapable and healthy. What I AM saying is this – if what you are going to say is not going to produce positive fruit in your marriage, don’t say it.

In this post, I’m talking specifically about those low blow moments. You know what I’m talking about. Those moments where you have something you can say that will really hit your spouse where it hurts. Maybe it’s a weakness, a vulnerability that’s been shared. You are so angry or mad and you just want your spouse to know it, so you prep your ammunition and are ready to aim. My plea to you – don’t.

 

Our first year of marriage, in the middle of an argument, Jose used to simply stop speaking and leave the room. At first, I was even more livid, “I’m talking to you! I’m trying to have a conversation with you! What are you doing?!” I would call after him. He would later explain that he just needed to step away from the situation until we could talk calmly about it. Oh, it would make me so irate because I wanted to talk about things RIGHT NOW and resolve it RIGHT AWAY. As time has gone on, I’ve appreciated how much it has saved us from a lot of pain! Eight years in, we don’t walk away from each other in the midst of hard conversations, but we have learned to guard the words that we speak to each other.

I love what James has to say about the words we speak:

“In the same way, the tongue is a small thing that makes grand speeches. But a tiny spark can set a great forest on fire. And among all the parts of the body, the tongue is a flame of fire. It is a whole world of wickedness, corrupting your entire body. It can set your whole life on fire, for it is set on fire by hell itself.” James 3:5-6

I love how it keeps mentioning “fire.” One terrible word or conversation can cause a world of pain and destruction. This can be avoided if we guard our speech and the words that we speak to our spouse.

I’m not telling you that anytime you get into an argument you need to physically run away from each other! When we were newlyweds,  we were learning how to fight fair.  We had to actually give each other some physical space for a few minutes or a half hour or so, then reconvene when we were calm. I’m glad that being married almost 8 years; we’ve come such a long way and don’t have to do this every time there’s a disagreement. We’ve learned that we respect and love each other enough to protect each other from words we might regret.

So if I could share anything that has helped me:

  1. If you’re ticked off, don’t try to force a conversation in that moment.
  2. If you have to give each other a few minutes, do it. Don’t force it in that exact moment, BUT…
  3. Refuse to go to bed angry with each other (Ephesians 4:26).
  4. DON’T SAY INSULTING THINGS YOU WILL REGRET.
  5. Talk to your spouse when emotions have calmed down and you can be reasonable.
  6. Your words matter and will be remembered. They also can HURT and create a deep wound so PROTECT each other by refusing to engage in trading insults.

Here’s the thing – all couples have disagreements at one point or another. If you’ve never argued with your spouse, you are a magical unicorn and can I please have your autograph? The point is this – when you know you are on the verge of saying something destructive and life killing, ask yourself if it’s going to produce positive fruit in your relationship in the long run.

“A truly wise person uses few words; a person with understanding is even-tempered.” Proverbs 17:27

xoxo

Marriage Mondays – I Always Will

“I don’t love you/I always will.”

This line is part of a chorus of a song that has been our JAM lately. “Poison and Wine” by The Civil Wars [this song came out years ago, but we’ve been listening to it a lot lately!]

We love this song because of that particular line.

I don’t love you/I always will

Say, WHAT?  The more we listened to the song and talked about what it meant, the more we said YES! Let’s do a cover to this song.

This song is so cool because it really addresses the reality that is marriage. When you make a commitment to marry someone, you are saying some very serious vows to each other.

I will…

Hold you..

Stand with you through better or worse…

Through richer or poorer…

In sickness and health…

I will love and cherish you…

until the only thing that separates us is DEATH itself.

Those are POWERFUL words! When you are married, those vows WILL be tested. I have been married for eight years and have walked through some of those things with my spouse. We have made a conscious decision to make sure that these trials and struggles [infertility, job loss, job change, parenting twins, life issues…the list goes on] didn’t push us APART but that they would be a catalyst to draw us closer together. Y’all, that takes actual effort. Because the hard things of life will draw you away from each other if you let it. The hard things of life will push you to isolate yourself from one another…but you can make a choice and a decision which will require effort on both parts, to do the opposite and run towards each other. Hold each other. Through the good, the bad. The failures and victories.

Yet, I digress. Back to the song.

The lyric – “I don’t love you/I always will” so captures the essence of marriage (in our opinion) because GUESS WHAT! There are times where you will not feel the magical rainbow butterflies floating in your belly. Particularly when your spouse does something to TICK you off. You will not “feel” love in that moment. Yet, you made a vow.

I always will.

I always will…

Love you.

Hold you.

Cherish you.

Stand by you.

Support you.

Encourage you.

Walk through the desert with you.

Climb the mountains with you.

Celebrate the victories with you.

Cry with you over the failures.

I always will.

I believe this is a decision that you make daily. The world and society would have you to think the opposite. The world tells us that when things are hard and the going gets tough, its okay to go. Commitment can even be seen as laughable nowadays. “Marriage isn’t a big deal…” people say. Yet, it is. You are making a lifelong commitment, a promise, a vow before God and before man that boils down to – when crap hits the fan, I’m not going to leave because “I always will.” When we are singing those lines, we are not actually saying “I don’t love you!!!” we are saying,

“You drive me crazy at times, but I will always choose you, I will always run to you, I will always love you. I ALWAYS WILL.”

There’s something so beautiful in that kind of commitment nowadays. This is why we decided to do a cover to this song. It so clearly covers how marriage feels at times, the ups and the downs, the mountains and valleys, coming down to the powerful commitment of, “I always will.” 

I hope you enjoy our cover to this song. Xo

Marriage Mondays – 20 Fun Facts About the Mr. and Mrs.

So I thought it would be fun to try to do Marriage Monday posts and dedicate a post each week to married life! Hubs and I have been married for almost eight years (in July) and often field a lot of questions from other couples, especially younger couples! We are non-experts and don’t know what we’re doing – but I can say that I honestly love being married and I love my husband. It has taught me so much about him and myself. I learn something new probably EVERY DAY. To start, I thought I would start off with twenty basics about the hubster and I!

  1. We met through a mutual friend when I was 16. The first time I met him, he actually had another girlfriend. I started to really pay attention to him when he started coming to church.
  2. I made the first move by calling him (which I NEVER did before – I was the shy type).
  3. We were high school sweethearts. Kind of – does it count if we didn’t go to the same high school?
  4. We have a lot in common, but pretty much zero in common when it comes to hobbies. He’s into outdoor/active types of situations, I’d rather snuggle up with a book and do something quiet/completely relaxed.
  5. We were 22 when we got married on July 11, 2009.
  6. I didn’t realize how much of a fear of heights my husband had until our first vacation as a married couple to Virginia. He was in complete hysterics at the top of the rollercoaster, I literally thought he was going to have a heart attack. I haven’t made him get on a rollercoaster since.
  7. He thinks I’m really rude because around the house I never say excuse me and typically nudge him out of the way.
  8. We’re both huge homebodies!
  9. When he proposed to me the day after Valentine’s Day in 2008, the ring got stuck in his pocket and he spent a minute trying to get it out.
  10. Before we found out we were having twins, Jose always wanted twins and looked up both of our family histories to see if twins ran in the family and what our chances would be. This was years before we even had babies on the brain.
  11. Parenting has turned us into huge saps, especially my husband. Movies, shows, and even some commercials make him cry.
  12. Our favorite beach is Ocean City.
  13. Our favorite city to visit is Chicago.
  14. The furthest we’ve driven together is Texas (with the twins in tow)!
  15. We always run into the weirdest experiences/people when we’re together. We once had a cashier at Walmart who insisted on sniffing every item we purchased before he rang it up.
  16. The most ridiculous argument we’ve ever had was over the wrong pizza order when we were watching “The Green Lantern.” I was so angry I refused to watch the rest of the movie with him (#earlyYearsofmarriage).
  17. We like to read books together – fave place to read together is during a car ride! We read through The Hunger Games and Divergent series this way.
  18. We didn’t settle on names for the boys until maybe an hour or so before they were born!
  19. I once cried because he put food in the sink.
  20. We are committed to loving each other for a LIFETIME.

First Valentine’s Day together! Take note of Jose’s awful shirt and the paper flower.

 

Thanks for checking out the first installent – if you have any suggestions, topics, questions, suggestions, let me know!