Meet my boys!

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My boys entered the world July 26th, 2013 at about 1 pm via c section. Meet Micah Eliud and Josiah Aiden! Babies are doing well, spending some time in NICU. Micah came in at 5lb and 1 oz and Josiah was born at 4lb and 6 oz. I’ve been in the hospital since Wednesday and will be discharged tomorrow! My precious boys will stay a bit longer! Updates and many more details to come 🙂

Can’t sleep!! Do they seriously expect me too?!

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I know I’m blowing up your feed with my multiple blogs in a day or two. Sorry! For those who don’t know. I’m currently in the hospital for who knows how long..being slowly prepped for the delivery of my sons. Was going to happen today, possibly happening in the am based on my doctor’s opinion.

I’m so mentally exhausted and have not slept in two days. Here I am at 3 am…wide awake. Nurses station right outside my door..super loud and downing soda (I can hear the sounds of cans being opened). I’m not even mad. I’m jealous. Super hungry, tired, and thirsty. No drinking or eating for me until a decision is made in the morning.

Husband and I FINALLY picked out names.

Hubby will take his maternity leave when babies come home, at my request.

I will absolutely be breast feeding l, especially if babies and up I’m NICU. It was stressed to me how important it is to breastfeed preemies, which my extensive book reading had revealed. It will be challenging because my milk may not officially be “ready” yet, but I will do what I have to do.

Can’t sleep can’t sleep can’t sleep. Watching husband sleep on the golf out couch. Jealous. It’s hard to sleep with all these attachments. I have these leg contraptions stuck to my calves that squeeze my legs and alternate to help my blood circulation. Robo calves. I have a needle stuck in hand ready for IV. I have the NST pads stuck to tummy (3 – 2 for heartbeats and 2 for contractions). Lastly, I have a blood pressure cuff on that periodically checks my blood pressure. Sleep? Not happening. When I try to get comfortable I dislodge something and “wake up” to my nurse hovering over me trying up fix it. I’m glad to be monitored so closely. However, sleep isn’t happening. Hence, I blog at 3 am for the millionth time today.

Grateful babies look and sound quite beautiful, steroid shots given will help lungs develop, and they are almost 5 pounds each. I will leave this hospital with sons! Hubby and I read some verses together and prayed together for babies, God’s perfect will, and for His peace. Deactivated Facebook, still only immediate family know. Trying to keep things private for now.

Alright, time to attempt to close my eyes once more. Will sleep allude me? Most likely yes. Hopefully I will be reporting some exciting info tomorrow. Sleep well friends! Sleep on my behalf 🙂

I leave you with my Most recent preggo pic, taken unbeknownst to me by a friend:

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Not leaving the hospital.

What a day. Stayed overnight in the hospital, couldn’t get comfortable and just thinking about everything. This thing caught me by surprise.

So my blood pressure is not too bad. My last urine will be at 3 pm and then they will analyze it which could take a couple of hours. My doctor wouldn’t give me clear answers about whether or not I would be staying, delivering soon…etc. When I asked him about the wedding and explained the dilemma he said there was a chance I could still go and we would play it by ear and blah blah blah. Enter Doctor Sue.

So in comes the doctor covering for my doctor, Doctor Sue. Whoaaaa. She spelled it all out to me flat out.

Me: Doctor, will I be able to go home today?

Doctor Sue: “No, you’re not leaving the hospital if I have my way. You’re a sick girl and preeclampsia doesn’t get better, it only gets worse. The only thing that will make it better is to deliver your babies. If I can have it my way, you will be delivering as soon as possible.”

Me – “But…but…my doctors said..”

Doctor Sue: “Your doctors are trying to appease you and make you happy. I’m going to be flat out with you. Around here I’m known as “Mean Sue” and I don’t care. I have no other interests except what is in the best interest for you and those babies. I don’t care about politics. The fact is, you are spilling lots of protein and you worked too hard to have babies to put these babies at risk.  What happens if you go and have a seizure? You’ll be okay but your babies will lose oxygen. Life happens. You’re not going.”

Point taken. Reality check. Much needed.

At least we have clear answers from someone.

A couple of hours later another doctor, who works with Doctor Sue came in,
Doctor Ri. Doctor Ri basically told me the same thing. He said if my urine test comes back with tons of protein, I could even deliver TODAY. TODAY. Omg omg omg. Not ready not ready not ready. The anticipation is building! I will know within several hours. Since we didn’t have clear answers yesterday, hubby went into work this morning. My mom stayed with me and is now out getting my hospital bag ready and picking me up some yummy food. My parents cancelled their vacation (they were leaving Sunday). No one else knows what’s going on with us.

I want to let my husband’s family know what’s up (his mom and two siblings – his brother is the one getting married) and I want our pastors to know along with my brothers..and that’s pretty much it. No Facebook announcement or play by play…and once we have our C Section I will probably keep things hush hush for a day or so. I want to enjoy my babies. Plus, they will likely spend some time in NICU.

This is all so surreal. Darn you preeclampsia !! Things were going so smoothly. Thanks for the love and continue to keep me and my babies in your prayers!

To keep calm I’ve been listening to some of my favorite worship songs and meditating.

In the hospital because of signs of preeclampsia.

So I went to my doctors appointment and when they tested my urine..lots and lots of protein. They then tested my blood pressure…high. They looked at my feet..swollen. So they sent me right over to L&D to get more tests and decided to admit me for a 24 hour urine test and to monitor me more closely because I have signs of “mild” preeclampsia. Of course I cried and cried in the doctors office. My husband was out of town about an hour away and my mom was working..and I didn’t want to call anyone else. Thankfully my mom works at the hospital (ER section) and was able to stay with me in the hospital until hubby could get here. They’re both the best. My bloodwork results were somewhat iffy as well. So monitor away they shall do. I just don’t feel ready yet!!

Babies are doing well, heartbeats are great. Thank the Lord!! If things improve with my blood pressure and urine tests they will send me home tomorrow evening, but the doctor made it clear – babies are coming out sooner than later. They gave me steroid shots for babies to develop lungs more but at 34 weeks with twins they say I’m in a good place. I also have an NST scheduled for later tonight.

I feel so overwhelmed because it was so unexpected. What’s funny is I was telling my husband last night (I feel weird) and this morning (babe, make sure you keep looking at your phone just in case)…but I’m still bummed to be here. Still haven’t told anyone since I won’t have any definitive answers until late tomorrow afternoon. Please pray for me and my little boys..that everything would go smoothly and that they will bake longer so they can continue to develop and grow! My priority – my boys! I will keep updating.

Miss Cranky Pants. That would be me.

*Warning* This post is kind of a “complaining” post. I have struggled with infertility and find myself incredibly blessed to be pregnant, and with twins at that! However, there are some things that I do miss and today I’m going to write about it. Don’t take this as me being a jerk..I’m just being honest. There are so many things I absolutely LOVEEEE about being pregnant (the topic of my next blog post probably) but there are things I miss as well. Proceed with caution! 🙂

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So I’m turning into a little Miss Cranky Pants. At 33 weeks I’m measuring around 36-37 weeks…cankles have become a part of my daily look..everything is starting to ache and I’m feeling a bit useless. I can hardly sleep at night and so my days I spend like a zombie, trying to nap away or just feeling super exhausted. I think it would be easier to sleep if I had more space to sleep but I can’t bring myself to kick hubby out of the bed. I’m an emotional mess. Yesterday I cried because I thought my husband was mad at me (he wasn’t. I was overreacting to nothingness.) We went to my Aunts 50th birthday party and as soon as we walked in we were asked to take a picture, as it was a favor for us to keep. I said no, that I wasn’t “in the mood” and was “tired.” What a little brat I was. My poor cousins were baffled because I’m always cheerful and positive, especially when I get to see my family! I later apologized and took the picture. I’ve been a bit of a hot mess.
Thank The Lord for the patience of my husband.

Please don’t get me wrong. Being pregnant is truly a blessing and a miracle for us. I am SO grateful. But I also think it’s human and normal to experience feelings of “Oh Lordyyyy help me!” as well lol.

So is it okay if I just keep it real and share the things that I miss? The minor, insignificant things..

1. Regular clothes and skinny jeans.
I miss cute little summer dresses with cute little wedges and actually being able to shop in Forever21 (I know I know, but it’s one of my fave stores..don’t judge me). I really miss skinny jeans with a stylish ballet flat or gladiator sandal. My feet have simply not been the same during pregnancy..obviously..so Old Navy flip flops it is! I’ve tried squeezing my fat feet into some of my sandals but it ain’t happening.

2. Drinking as much Coke as I want to and devouring all the chocolate I want to.
I know there are women who continue with their regular caffeine regimen while pregnant but I definitely cut down, especially on my soda intake. But Cherry Pepsi…how I miss you.

3. People not talking to me when I go places.
I miss being able to run in a convenience store and out…or to go grocery shopping and keep to myself. When you’re pregnant, everyone wants to ask you questions and give you advice. My personal favorites – Are you going to have a
C section? Sure, lets discuss my birth plan in the middle of Target. Not that its any of your business. Another one, “what are their names?” We are still deciding and I don’t want to tell you. Sometimes I’m simply in a rush and don’t want unwarranted advice or opinions! I just want to pick up some cheese in peace.

4. Being Miss Independent. I have to rely on hubster for pretty much everything at this stage of the game. Bending really hurts me knees and I’m not supposed to lift heavy things anyway. Sometimes after a busy day my body just tells me to “stop” and I listen. This means a lot of my tasks that I would normally do, my husband has to do after a long day at work. This makes me feel pretty bad I like a complete nagger. He doesn’t mind, but I do. Even a simple task like cleaning, requires me to recruit my mom or someone to help.

5. Seeing my feet and painting my toenails.
This one I can’t complain too much about because I’ve made it a point to get pedicures every 2-3 weeks..Now if only I could actually see my feet. I did manage to paint them yesterday…how I managed, I don’t know. But it happened. Accomplishment and a half.

6. Bike riding.
Bike riding is my summer hobby. I’m obsessed. Not mountain biking or racing or anything, but literally cruising on an old school banana seat bike. My yellow lemon dream. She sits upstairs untouched this season. My best friend and I typically would ride bike all over town, have long convos, wind in our hair and sunshine on our face. Because I’m “high risk” and so far along in pregnancy it’s not something my doctor recommends and my husband flat out has said “no way.” I can respect that. But I miss my little lemon cruiser! Until next season my dear..or perhaps in the fall!

 

7.Having control over my emotions. I once cried over the fact that I really wanted a cheesy gooey pizza…but didn’t have my debit card. I cried yesterday because I thought my husband was mad at me. That’s one of about a million occasions where I have cried over ridiculousness.

8. Sleep. Sleep? What’s that? When I sleep I have about a zillion pillows all around me. Under me, between my legs, propping me up, under my feet. It’s pretty intense. The only time I can sleep decently is when my husband goes to work and I have the whole bed to myself. I have more space that way.  However, I would rather not sleep too great than kick my husband out of bed. I know he would be willing..but then he would have a hard time sleeping on the sofa. So for now I nap when I can and squeeze in those Z’s when I can.

For the  things I “miss” there are about a zillion things I absolutely love about being pregnant! I know that these things I “miss” are only temporary and everything is worth the joy we are experiencing of being pregnant. I just like to keep it real too..that’s just me. Feel free to comment and share some things you miss or that drive you crazy and on my next post, you can rave all about the things you love love love about being pregnant.

33 Weeks! Getting closer to the finish line!

Can’t believe tomorrow I will be 33 weeks! As of Sunday, I’m pretty much going to lay low all week and not strain myself.

So far, so good though. My latest NST and round of doctor’s appointments (had these yesterday) still show no signs of preterm labor. Hooray! I want these little babies to bake away so that they can continue to grow and gain weight. As of abut a week or so ago they were measuring about 4 pounds each. I have gained 34 pounds this pregnancy. I gained four pounds in one week, which again is slightly insane to me. All of my levels have come back normal. The only thing that is a little out of control is my thyroid. I have hypothyroidism and it is currently a 9 which is pretty high. My doctor has adjusted my medication repeatedly and right now I’m taking 150 mcg and 175 mcg every other day. The nurses and doctors all seem impressed that I’ve made it this far. I have a good feeling that I will go full term. I will be having a C section because the babies are transverse. I also have/had marginal placenta previa but my doctor said that it has moved enough that if I wanted to do a v delivery and the babies were in a better position, I could have gone forward with that. However, because they have not moved positions, and the doctor is convinced they will most likely stay in the same position, C Section it is. My tentative C section date is August 23rd. I still have SOOOOOOO much to do.Like what? Here we go:

  • Give my house a very THOROUGH cleaning. Baseboards, cabinets, closets, etc. I know that I will need help to do this and I’m hesitant to ask, even though I know my mom and mother-in-law would be willing to help. I think I will have to wait for a day my hubby is off.
  • Make my hospital bag. My husband and mom have made themselves in charge of this one! My doctor has advised me to start carrying it with me starting at 34 weeks. My husband and I attend church one hour away in DE (we’re from Jersey) so we need to get on this one super soon.
  • Schedule a hospital tour. The hospital that I’m delivering at is by no means a new hospital to us..it’s the hospital my mother works at and we’ve been there a zillion times but I’ve never ever been in their labor and delivery section so that’s kind of important!
  • Decide which doctor, out of the five from my practice, will be doing my C Section. I’ve been interviewing them but I still have a few more questions to ask. It looks like we are leaning towards the doctor who owns the practice and who has had over 30 years experience. He actually delivered my younger brother (who is currently 23). We’ll see.
  • Purchase the rest of the baby items we need. So far we have all of our big items and *most* of our smaller items but still have to pick up some things!
  • Landscaping. Sounds so silly, but the front of our yard needs some landscaping. I know we are going to have so many visitors when our sons are born. However, we are on a super tight budget. As a teacher, I have my savings but no salary in the summer so we have to be super careful with our spending. So this most likely won’t get done..lol. But it would be nice!

I have decided that I’m officially done buying maternity clothes. I alternate between summer dresses when I have to go out, a pair of maternity shorts, and a pair of maternity jeans. I just don’t want to buy anything else. I’m home often anyway, so at home it’s an oversized t-shirt and my underwear (lol don’t judge me..maternity underwear is amazing). Thankfully, a good friend of mine donated a lot of maternity clothes to me so I’ve also been using that as well. I just think it’s close enough to the end where I just don’t want to spend the money anymore! I don’t have any major events coming up except for my aunt’s 50th birthday party (will wear a maternity dress I’ve worn a zillion times..I’m okay with that) and the wedding. It is what it is 🙂

Baby names, baby names. Hubby and I keep going back and forth between our baby names. We had two that we absolutely loved to pieces..me especially..but then when we looked up the meanings we were like ehhh. So now we are leaning towards two biblical names. Yet…we have not made anything official yet.  We really need to figure this out!

At the end of it all, I’m so grateful to be pregnant and to have had a complication free pregnancy so far. This morning my husband and I were reflecting about how hopeless we felt and how many tears we shed last year..but we feel so blessed and are so thankful to God for all that He’s done for us. We don’t want to forget to simply be grateful. We are being blessed with double the blessing. As nervous as I am, I’m also super excited about it as well. I can’t wait to be a mom and to share this next journey with my amazing husband. We will have our own little family and all that we’ve gone through will have been well worth it.

Maternity photoshoot..finally!

So here are some of my favorite maternity pictures from our shoot taken about a week ago. I’m currently 32 weeks. So excited!! It’s almost here. Six more weeks! I’m posting about a zillion pics, so I apologize in advance. Made 32 weeks on Friday! Will post more updates soon, but so far so good! No signs of preterm labor, thank the Lord!

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Baby shower and officially enjoying summer vacation!

So June 22 was my baby shower. My mom and hubby hosted it for me and tons of my friends pitched in to help. Everything was fantastic…love my hubby, friends, and family sooo much for putting the day together! Here are just a few pics. More “professional” ones are to come, we are just waiting for the person to put them on a CD for us! These are just a few that friends and family took off cameras and phones 🙂

Here are some of my faves:

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Hubby giving the babies a little kiss <3

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My beautiful niece..super excited for her first set of cousins!

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Baby shower cake created as a gift for me from a friend at work!

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My hubster and I, who put most of this together for me along with my Mom! Super impressed by hubster’s creative chops.

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My girlies from my job! Love them and after the shower I found out they helped out in tons of ways, from decor to set up. So blessed! They purchased the Chicco Double Stroller for us..so generous of them!

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My brother in law and best friend..these are the two that will be getting married at the end of July, where my husband and I are MOH and he’s BM.

I had an amazing time and felt so much love from so many people. Everyone on the guest list came, to the point where we almost ran out of chairs! My church family from Delaware came as well which meant a lot to me and all of our family came through, except for my family from New York who sent me gifts through the mail. We now have SOOO many wipes and diapers, some cute outfits, some essential baby gear we needed and literally all of the furniture for the nursery was purchased for us as well. BLESSED. It feels more real every day that soon we will be welcoming two little boys into our lives.

We are having a hard time coming up with baby names. We had two that went well, but when we further researched them we weren’t too impressed on the meaning and we are big on name meanings. That put us back at square one. We may have narrowed it down to two once more but we still struggle at times! I wonder if we are going to be  those parents who don’t name their child until they see them (nothing against that!) I’m just such a planner I thought we would have everything down. We’ll see.

Tomorrow we are supposed to have our maternity photo shoot, but we may get rained out so we have a couple of rain dates saved. I kind of wouldn’t mind using the rain dates instead of tomorrow just because I don’t feel ready and I have absolutely NO idea on what to wear. I also didn’t get to purchase any props for the shoot and we don’t have our baby names either so we can’t do anything cute with that…so more time would be a good thing for me.

I’m 30 weeks and will be 31 weeks on Friday!! I’m in the 30s…hooray!! The boys move around often and seem to be doing well but space is getting tight! My stomach is veiny and tight tight tight. So far I’ve gained about 30 pounds for this pregnancy. All of my appointments are next week and I have my NST test along with more ultrasounds and a visit to the obgyn. My next thyroid appointment is on July 16th. We have some busyness happening for us for the next couple of weeks. My husband will be going away to the Poconos (about 3 hours from where we live) for his brother’s bachelor party this weekend..which I am really nervous about this far along in my pregnancy with TWINS. When he goes whitewater rafting he will be without his phone for seven hours straight. My best friend is staying over with me and I’m going to put my mom on “call.” I know I’m being paranoid but just having my husband far away during pregnancy makes me a little crazy! I realize that he has to have fun and this is probably his last “chance” to do something like this because once these babies are born…well, he won’t be going away anytime soon.

Anyway, I could go on and on but I plan on posting more frequently not that I’m on summer break! I’ll leave you with a pic of me at 30 weeks:

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Last thing – mother’s…what bottles did you use and absolutely love? We are having a hard time deciding and are leaning towards Tommee Tippee. Thanks!

Well hi there cankles! Baby shower tomorrow..yay!

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Well foot swelling has been hitting me pretty hard lately. Today was the worst that I’ve seen them. Because I have twins and am considered high risk I we nervous when I see so much swelling. I called the doc and they told me my blood pressure has been great and I’ve had no protein in my urine. They moved my appointment to Monday at 1 so hopefully all is well. I know swelling during pregnancy is normal but I don’t want it to turn into something more. I want to be cautious!

On a brighter note, tomorrow is my baby shower. My husband and mother are the ones who are throwing it for me. My husband has been super secretive about it but he’s been hard at work. He got together with my girl friends from work who have also been helping him out! It feels good to be so cared for.

All of the 7th grade teachers at my job threw me a surprise baby shower. Some cute bits from it:

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I love my job.
At Monday the whole school will be throwing me a work shower. All of it I above and beyond. I feel really blessed! I’m excited about tomorrow because we will be able to set up the nursery and figure out what else we need to get. It’s becoming a reality. Here is a small glimpse of the nursery:

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It’s getting real! I’m 29 weeks today. Once I hit the 30 week mark I will feel like I hit another milestone. I just want to make it to August! Thankfully so far there have been no inclinations that we won’t be able to make it. At every appointment so far the cervix has been fine and everything has been on track. I don’t take for granted that all of that can change in a heartbeat and am thankful every single day that everything has been so smooth. Monday is my last day of school, today was the last day with the students. I can’t wait to finally be able relax and chill out!

The extra fabric has also come in for my bridesmaids dress. Lets see how that turns out.

27 Weeks and NO gestational diabetes! Almost 28 weeks!

I am 27 weeks and will be 28 weeks this Friday. 28 weeks is a huge milestone because at 28 weeks babies have a 90% of survival if they are born. For me everything has been a milestone. Reaching 12 weeks…hitting the second trimester..and 28 weeks. I can’t wait to be in the 30 week zone! Today I found out that Every day is a blessing!

Took my glucose test on Thursday and received my results today..no gestational diabetes! I am anemic though (test results revealed low iron) so I was encouraged to increase my iron. I can hang with that. I’m just so happy not to have GD. I was a little worried.Before the test I was also super nervous I would throw it all up, but my friends told me it tasted like flat orange soda and super sweet. Once I prepared my mind for that, I was ready and drank it like a pro. In the doctor’s office I ran into two other people I know who are pregnant and was able to kill most of the hour through conversation which was cool.

Some cool things that have happened:

  • We’ve received overwhelming love and support from everyone that we know.
  • Hubby’s mom and my mom went and bought us the cribs along with the mattresses.
  • We have already received super cute donations for baby boy clothes!!
  • The girls from my job chipped in to purchase me a $300 twin stroller…so happy!
  • I’m healthy, happy, and have had an “easy” pregnancy so far.
  • I’m pregnant with twin boys. After infertility treatments and so much pain, emotionally and physically. God is AWESOME.
  • In two weeks, school will be out and I can finally get my nesting on!

There are so many things to be grateful for. Let me focus on those amazing things!

I’ve been seeing my belly move in crazy ways which is pretty insane. Sometimes it looks like the waves of the sea. I do have marginal placenta previa which means that here is a good chance I will have to have a C section based on that alone. The babies are currently head down so if they decided to stay that way and I did not have marginal placenta previa, v delivery could be a real possibility for me. I have my next ultrasound this Thursday so I’ll find out if my placenta is still in the same spot. I want to go full term!! Once school is over, I will really be able to take it easy and put my feet up and relax! That’s pretty much how I plan to spend the majority of my summer. If we last up to 37 weeks then I will be having these adorable babies in the 3rd week of August as opposed to September 6th. With twin pregnancy the babies are considered full term at 37 weeks.

Here is my cute picture for the week:

Hubby singing songs to the babies!

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I do have to say that I have the most amazing husband in the world.

Okay, that’s all I have for you this week. Rooting for everyone out there and reading every blog post!! xoxo