Choosing to the midst of darkness.

Hey everyone! I thought I would share about this amazing book I have been reading which has been really encouraging, eye opening, and life changing for me during this time in my life where I am struggling with infertility. The book is NOT  book about infertility at all. It is a book about struggles, hopes, and life. The book is called, “Choosing to See” by Mary Beth Chapman .We are reading it for Book Club at church and honestly in my heart I have never felt like this is a book I am meant to be reading at this season in my life.


For those of you who don’t know, Steven Curtis Chapman (award winning Christian of the best..) and his wife lost their adopted daughter Maria several years ago, after their son Will accidentally hit her with his car as he was coming down the driveway. The story sparked national headlines as this family dealt with this tragic loss and pain. This book, is the story of the Chapman family, how they got into adoption (they adopted three gorgeous girls from China, one of them being Maria..they have 3 biological children as well) and their journey. It is not only about the loss of their beloved daughter, it is about their life from the perspective of Mary Beth and honestly, it is just an amazing book. I cried the instant I started reading it and every time I read it, I am pretty much crying. Not because it is said, though yes, there are obviously parts that are sad…but because it’s such a powerful story/testimony. How we can “Choose to See” during the darkest times of our lives and choose hope over hopelessness..choose the life giving words of Christ over the lies of the enemy..and is ultimately a story that has greatly encouraged me as I have dealt with my own personal sadness. This book has really given me a fresh perspective. I really want to make the decision to “See” and to pursue hope against all odds, to believe, trust, have faith and move forward in whatever God has for me and ultimately to TRUST His plans for my life even though they may not match up to my own plans for my own life. When we plan things one way, God has His own set plans for our life and they do not always go with what we had planned. What I am saying is this, I want to do more trusting and less fearing…staying positive, believing, and plowing forward in whatever lies ahead of me on this journey. I am going to continue to chase after fertility but also hold on to the truth that God has amazing plans for my life..deep in my heart I know this includes a baby..and that His timing is the best timing ever.

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