There’s a lot that’s been happening on my end over here. Lately I’ve been experiencing a lot of pain in my abdomen, on my sides, and in my lower stomach area. It’s been increasing, comes and goes, but has been noticeably present lately. Since I have severe endometriosis, I am assuming that is what the flare up is. I’m not going to lie though, I AM concerned. I went to my regular doctor and since my doctor is out of the country, I spoke with the nurse practitioner. Her response was – “I think it may be acid reflux.”
Um…WHAT? I’ve never had reflux in my life except for when I was pregnant, towards the end of my pregnancy. Otherwise, I have never experienced it. I know that’s not what it is. It’s all over my middle area and my symptoms don’t go with acid reflux. So I called my gyno to schedule an appointment with her but don’t get to see them until next the end of the month. I felt like no one has been taking me seriously at all – no one. I went to the next step, my RE.
After all, he was the one who discovered how severe my endometriosis was during the laproscopy. I need someone to hear me and to help me. My RE has never failed me in that department (and neither has God!) and so I want to talk to him and see what he thinks. I am leaning towards having a hysterectomy. My RE told me that after I had the boys I would need corrective surgery at some point. I think the point is here. Before I even begin to think to deeply about that though, I want to talk to my RE and find out what his thoughts are. My blood work showed that there was some blood in the urine (TMI, I know) and the nurse wants me to retake it, which I will be doing ASAP this week. I don’t want to jump to conclusions and make a big decision if it’s something like kidney stones. BUT….
All of this has led my husband and I to many discussions about what our next step is going to look like. He would rather have a healthy wife who is free of pain than more kids, in his words. My heart feels content and happy at this point. I’m just wondering if I will end up changing my mind. Will I feel regret in several years when the boys have grown? This isn’t a decision that I can undo. Yet, I’m so tired and weary of dealing with this endometriosis that I’m leaning heavily towards make that decision. This doesn’t mean we have to be “done” (even though we absolutely feel done at this moment in time)…but it would mean that I can’t have any more babies in my belly. Am I ready to decide that at 28 years old?
My heart ultimately feels peace. I know that no matter what happens, no matter what we decide, God is with us in this whole process. I can absolutely feel Him. But will you guys keep me in your thoughts and prayers? I go to see him this Tuesday morning. Since my husband works and my mom works, I will be going alone about an hour away. I really wanted to have my mom or husband with me as we discuss what’s going on with me, but I’ll be solo. I just want this all to be resolved. Let’s see what the RE says.