Homesick and an update on baby Micah.

Micah continues to do well! YAY! For those of you who have been praying – THANK YOU! Prayer is effective and works. Friday night I literally feared the worst..that I was going to lose my son..and it seemed like a complete turnaround Saturday into Sunday. I am going to credit that to prayer. I have people who are praying for Micah all over the place and all I can say is thank you, thank you, and thank you.

I have been away from home now for two weeks. I have not seen Josiah for a little over a week. I saw a glimpse of my husband yesterday when he came up to clear the hospital’s freezer of my breast milk (more on that another post). Since we had a sitter for Josiah he couldn’t stay long, so I enjoyed his presence for about 15 minutes. Hey, I’ll take it. He DID get to see Micah though which was fantastic. It was a bit of a teaser though, to see him and then for him to have to leave 🙁 I miss home. I can’t wait to bring Micah home and to begin to experience having two babies with the hubby. Because of being in hospitals we have not really been able to be together with our sons and take a deep breath and say “So THIS is what having babies is like!” Micah and Josiah have not been in our home together since they were born. It’s long overdue now! They have also barely had a chance to be together since birth. Even when they were in our NICU, they were in separate rooms (adjoining..but separate). I’m sure they miss each other! I have also been spending money like CRAZY which is something I didn’t want to do, but I’m basically starved all the time and the hospital food is simply not cutting it anymore. How I long for home cooked meals every night!

I feel bad too because my husband has to do daddy duty on his own for a bit now. He’s great and doing awesome but it’s hard! We have both gotten a glimpse of what it would be like to be a single parent and ohmygosh it’s not easy at all. So hat’s off to all of the mom’s and dad’s who do it every day. You are amazing. When I get to FaceTime him he looks exhausted and it’s clear he is absolutely getting ZERO sleep. It’s a good day when he has had the chance to shower. I have been able to get more sleep than him because for the most part, as I alternate between sleeping at the hospital and at the local Ronald McDonald house. The problem with sleeping at the hospital is that I’m usually riddled with anxiety and obsess over the machines and get no sleep whatsoever. The nurses tell me to get sleep now, because soon I will never see it again. I have obliged.

Today I was able to hold my son for the first time in an entire week. AN ENTIRE WEEK. He was crying and I was able to calm him. Since he was intubated for an entire week, he has no voice at the moment. The nurses have told me it will come back day by day. When he cries no sound comes out. It will be the sweetest day when I can hear my little man scream again. It’s coming!

I’m so grateful that Micah is doing better. The PICU is a very scary place to be. In fact, something horrible happened two days ago. I was in the pumping room, pumping away when I heard screaming..a mother saying.. “NO, GOD NO! IT CAN’T BE! PLEASE GOD NO NO NOOOO!” and then I heard running down the hallway and tons of voices. Immediately I got chills and started to pray for this mother. I found out that she lost her son, he passed away in the PICU that night. What I was hearing was the moment she found out…how awful. I will remember it for the rest of my life. All of the nurses and doctor’s on the floor were in there. It literally broke me.

This is why I am ready for home. It has been a long two weeks and I’m ready. If all goes well I should be there this weekend. Keep my boys in prayers and thank you again for those who have been doing just that! Josiah will be coming up to this hospital on Thursday for his biopsy to see whether or not he has Hirschsprung disease. Hopefully not..more to come on that tomorrow.

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