So this past weekend, a couple of days after Thanksgiving, I came out of the infertility closet “a little” on facebook. Here is what I wrote, accompanying this picture:
My greatest blessing, my little family! Last year in October we suffered a chemical pregnancy..basically, it’s a super early miscarriage. This was particularly devastating because we had been dealing with infertility issues for about two years and were SO excited to find out that we were finally pregnant… only to find out that it wasn’t going to turn out the way we had hoped. It was a dark time in our lives! But yet, here we are, a year later with not one..but TWO of the cutest little boys around. I feel doubly blessed and truly grateful! I don’t why things happen the way they do, but I do know that in the end, God is faithful! So this thanksgiving, I am truly thankful because these little boys have flipped our lives upside down for the better. And I would have it no other way.
It’s pretty wordy and I say I came out “a little” because I didn’t go into detail about IVF or everything we went through. I figured I didn’t really need to go there, but if someone asked, I wouldn’t mind saying telling them about it. Why did I feel the need to mention infertility and some of what we went through? Because when my hubby and I were going through it I felt really lonely, isolated, ashamed, and like I had no one that could relate or that I could talk to. Yes, I had best friends, family and all that jazz….but they didn’t necessarily understand how I felt because they hadn’t gone through it. I put myself out there for the people like me, who instead of seeing the 47382479 pregnancy of the day, when you yourself can’t get pregnant…would feel comforted to know that someone else went through it and made it through the other side. Having children does not necessarily “solve” the infertility thing..if I want to have a child again, I will have to go through the process again. Besides a miracle, I won’t be able to get pregnant on my own. So at times it’s still hard when I see so many people who can get pregnant so easily.
So what was the result of coming out? I honestly felt more free. Boom. BANG. There it is. It also opened a door, because right after I came out, I was messaged by someone going through struggles with infertility and thanking me for putting myself out there. That made me feel good. Yes, I have twins..I’m grateful. But I will NEVER forget the road I had to take to get there. As always, I leave you with pics from the best Thanksgiving ever.
I’m a cutie and I know it! (To the tune of “I’m sexy and I know it)
Everything’s better when we get to sit on daddy’s lap. Can’t you tell how thrilled we are?
Mom’s not much better..
But we love to kick our feet in our crib! Even if Mom DID dress us alike…AGAIN!
Hanging out with my niece who is about my size…at age 4.
Lilia reading to Josiah..from a Target receipt.
“But I can feed him by myself…”
Micah decided he had enough excitement for the day.
But wait! We forgot to take a picture with the bibs. Can’t forget the Thanksgiving bibs!
Hubby, hubby’s brother, best friend, myself. Yep.
And that’s how we rolled Thanksgiving 2013.