I decided to document our process in having a baby because there are probably a lot of people who are going through similar things. I like to write so I thought that this would be a nice outlet in sharing what we are going through.
Here we go.
My husband and I have married for three years. I am married to a wonderful man, who I love and adore…basically, my soulmate. We decided last year around May 2011, that we would stop taking birth control and “see what happens.” We had been homeowners for a year, we both were at great places in our careers, we felt like we had done our traveling and were ready to start a family. We thought we would get off the birth control, and within couple of months, we would be pregnant. I didn’t track my ovulation or anything like that. It was just a let’s see what happens kind of thing. Our hope was that I would get pregnant during the summer. However, after months of trying, no pregnancy. I didn’t stress out or panic. I thought perhaps the timing was just off. However, come spring 2012..still no baby. I went to my gyno for the routine checkup and mentioned to her that I had been off of birth control since May and she was surprised that I hadn’t gotten pregnant yet. She recommended that I see a fertility specialist. I was surprised when she recommended that. I know it sounds silly, but in my mind I kept thinking..we probably just have our timing off. I probably really need to track everything to the T. However, she was the doctor and if she was recommending I see a specialist..then I was going to see a specialist.
Fast forward..my husband and I saw the fertility specialist and began a round of tests, ultrasounds, and basically the works! The doctor wanted to check every little thing so that he could see what the issue was. He explained that in order to have a baby, the conditions have to be just right, and if something is slightly off it becomes more difficult to become pregnant. He assured us that it wasn’t a matter of IF I could have a baby..he was sure I most likely could..he just wanted to see what could be standing in the way. Finally after what seemed to be forever, even though in reality, it was only about a month, our doctor was ready to meet with us to discuss all of his findings. I thought that we would go in, find out that everything was fine, and move on with our lives. However, it was the opposite. The tests revealed that everything with my husband was perfectly fine, on the other hand, one of my tubes looked blocked and it seemed like there were internal adhesions due to endometriosis. In addition, my ovulation process was weak. He gave me several options..I could start taking medicine to strengthen the ovulation process (which would not address the internal issues), have surgery to fix the internal problem, or start IVF..a last resort option. The problem with jumping straight to IVF would be that my insurance would be less likely to cover it if I didn’t try the other things first. Plus, to be honest, I did NOT was to go through that process until it was 100% necessary. I opted for the surgery, to be done in about one month. The plan was to unblock one of my tubes and then get rid of the endometriosis. Needless to say, I was actually looking FORWARD to the surgery. I figured that immediately after the surgery, within a month or so, we could start trying and voila..we would be pregnant! Boy, was that not the case.
A month later, my surgery was here! Last week I had my laproscopic surgery. I was really anxious and somewhat excited..weird I know, but I was happy that whatever problems I had were going to be fixed during laproscopic surgery. I would be good to go in no time. My surgery went as scheduled. When I finally came to in the recovery room, a nurse began to explain to me what happened. “There was a complication and the doctor was not able to do much of anything during the surgery. He was able to look inside, but when he saw what was going on inside of you, it required a specialist. He didn’t want to complete the surgery without the specialist because of what he found, so I’m sorry to say this but…you still have endometriosis. I’m sorry.”
When she said that to me, I started to cry. I was confused because she really didn’t go into detail about what the doctor found. Also, I was shocked. My doctor told me that he was prepared to fix whatever they encountered inside of me. Why then, did that not take place? The nurse wheeled me to another room where my mother and husband were waiting for me. When they saw me crying it upset them and they insisted that they explain what the doctor told them before I cry. My husband proceeded to tell me that when the doctor went inside of me they were shocked at what they found. One of my fallopian tubes was coiled around my ovary and the other was twisted around my bowel “like a piece of bacon wrapped around a shrimp.” Because of this unexpected turn of events, my doctor decided not to proceed in trying to untwist it because he did not want to compromise my ability to carry a baby. Also, to correct the problem would require extensive surgery and would possibly require specialists as well.His suggestion was that we jump to IVF and begin our family first, THEN start the surgeries to uncoil my tubes. He said that as long as I wasn’t experiencing any pain from them, then he would suggest beginning the process of invitro so that my husband and I could have our family. When I heard that news, I continued to sob. I simply was NOT expecting that news. I was completely shocked. Plus, it was scary. Who on earth wants to know that inside of their body they have their tubes wrapped around parts that they should NOT be wrapped around? Not me! I was too disheartened to really think about anything else. I was just super sad.
The whole way home from the hospital I just cried. I really wanted to have a baby naturally. I wanted it to just happen. Being a woman of faith though, I had to hold on to hope. I’m still holding on to hope. I serve a God of miracles. My husband called our close friends, family, and pastors to explained what happened. People offered me a lot of words of encouragement and were really there for us emotionally. Currently, we are reading lots of information on IVF and getting ready to meet with our doctor on Monday for our follow-up visit and next step meeting. Again, I’m nervous and hopeful at the same time.
My hopes are that our insurance will cover the IVF completely..or most of it…and we can begin the process speedily. This road is not going to be easy, but I know I can do all things through Christ that strengthens me. I will update on Monday..be blessed and please feel free to share some of your story..