When this is all over, I’m “coming out!”

Of the infertility closet that is. I really can’t wait for all of this to be over so that I can share our struggles, heartache, and ultimately our hopeful triumph with others. I often feel so alone in this struggle with infertility because I feel like I have no one to talk to or relate to face to face. On the internet through boards and through the blogosphere I have definitely found comfort in knowing that without a doubt, I’m not alone in my struggles. However, I can’t help but wish that I had someone I could go out with for coffee and just share with.

In my opinion, infertility is a very hush hush thing. In other words, infertility is not a dinner conversation or something that people are usually open with. For example, “Hey can you pass me the mashed potatoes..oh yeah by the way, I’ve been dealing with infertility for about two years now!” I feel like it can often be a very taboo subject, yet there are so many people that go through it! One in eight couples struggle with infertility. Yet, I feel like I am in No Man’s Land over here..solo, alone..while everyone around me is getting pregnant. When we finally have our story of success, I would love to come out with our struggle with infertility and try to be a beacon of hope and encouragement for those that are going through it. I know that I receive so much of my comfort and strength in reading the stories of women who have gone before me and have eventually experienced childbirth. I know so many people who would be completely shocked that we are dealing with this. I think that one day I would like to come out with our struggles and give a testimony of how God brought us through. One day.

I ordered a book called “Hannah’s hope. Here is a picture of what it looks like:


It’s a book about infertility, miscarriage, and adoption loss. I was searching through Amazon for books dealing with this subject matter, specifically Christian books dealing with this subject, and came across this. It received excellent reviews and I ordered it used for less than $1. I just started reading it today and got through the introduction and the author’s story. So far I’ve learned that Jennifer tried actively conceiving with her husband for ten years..they experienced multiple miscarriages, multiple failed adoption attempts, went through many medical procedures (including procedures to deal with endometriosis..which I have) but ultimately had a boy and a girl (Joshua and Ruth). It has definitely captured my attention so far. Though I have just started the book, if you are dealing with any of these issues..I would recommend looking into this book. Seems like it’s going to be a really good read.

On a side note, the rest of my medications finally came in. Meds for the frozen embryo transfer. Looking forward to that day but wanting everything to go smoothly at the same time. Mostly, I really want my frosties to thaw out perfectly. Happy Thursday everyone! Be blessed.

10 thoughts on “When this is all over, I’m “coming out!”

  1. evelynnross says:

    I’ve been extremely lucky to have a few friends that I’ve been able to connect with in the real world about all of this. I am the third of four who went through IVF and I know at least two others who have infertility issues of other varieties. Infertility seems to be quite prevalent in my world. I’m actually quite surprised when someone gets pregnant naturally… it seems unnatural to me! Imagine that!
    I hope you enjoy your book! I hope it gives you the strength and inspiration to come out of your infertility closet one day. 🙂

    • roadtofertility says:

      Thanks 🙂 You are very fortunate to have people around you that you can connect with! I mean, the situation of dealing with infertility is obviously unfortunate, but I think having that kind of support is awesome. I feel like people have a couple reactions when I do talk about it…some are understanding but don’t know what to say or others kind of don’t know what to do about the subject. Ironically, it’s the people closest to me that I feel understand what I’m going through the least. My work friends have been awesome. Thanks for the kind comment!

  2. springchicken2 says:

    Great post! Hannah’s Hope is a great book. When you’re finished you should try “The Infertility Companion” by Sandra L Glahn and William R Cutrer. It’s another really great Christian resource.

    • roadtofertility says:

      Thank you! Also, thanks a ton for the book recommendation…I’m a huge book nerd and obsessed with reading so that book is going to be added to my “wish list!” Lately I’ve been looking into reading as much as possible about infertility and coping with infertility…and just books that are encouraging as well.

  3. anchortomysoul says:

    Just stumbled upon your blog in my search to feel to not so alone, so this post is fitting 🙂 I have that book on my kindle but have been afraid to read it. Don’t wsnt to deal with the emotions I guess? Maybe I will over the holidays. Anyway, we are not alone and you can come out of the closet now! We have been open about and I’ve been so thankful people know. I know not a soul IRL with IF so I’m glad to have good friends who still can be there and pray for me.

    • roadtofertility says:

      Thanks for your comment. Yeah, the book is a good read but it’s something you kind of have to prepare yourself to read in a way. I feel like I am ready. As far as “coming out” I’m still hesitant to do so…one day I will develop the courage but I’m not quite there yet! Maybe after this frozen embryo transfer. In April will be our two year anniversary of trying to conceive. It’s good to know that there are others in the world, even if I don’t know them, who can identify with my feelings. Thanks agan 🙂

  4. intunewithmyautoimmune says:

    Moments for Couples who Long for Children by Ginger Garrett is one of my favorites. It is a daily devotional dealing with all things infertility. I hear you about staying in the closet. It is a very personal subject that is easier to talk about when you know the ending and can look back on the struggle. While in the struggle it is just hard!

    • roadtofertility says:

      A devotional dealing with fertility sounds amazing. Yeah I kind of feel like it will be easier to talk about once I have my “ending.” Who knows…I keep praying, Lord please give me the opportunity one day to help other women who have walked and are walking the road of infertility!

  5. maydaygirl says:

    It is a great book!

    Also infertility doesn’t have to be hush hush. I have always been very open about ours and people appreciate if because its how they learn.

    Good luck on your fet!

    • roadtofertility says:

      Thanks so much! You are right! I just feel like I can’t come forth about it until I actually have made it to the other side. I know that’s not the right way to think. I’m working on it! lol

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